There are days when you just want to listen to a whole playlist of sad songs just so you can cry. Days when you feel like one cup of coffee is not enough, so you have another, and another, and another, and before you know it, you've had your 5th cup by 2 in the afternoon, and you're still yawning away. There are days when you are so exhausted to the point where you cannot sense your limbs, and you walk, disjointed, like a zombie whose legs are leading its torso down corridors assaulted by the stench of blood and urine, and haunted by the ghosts of people long dead from the endlessly futile effort at saving them. There are days when your mind becomes an empty sphere, devoid of all ability to focus, because it's been overflowing with all sorts of topics you've had to study for, and yet it's telling you that this is not enough, that you should have, and could have, done more. There's always more to do, more to learn, more to remember. And there are days when your heart tells you you're doing the right thing, and that deep down you're a good and kind and strong person and that although you can't change the world, you harbour the hope that one day, the world might change just that little bit, and that people will start to become more understanding instead of shouting at each other across the operating table, and that people will help another human being in need because it is in our nature to reach out to the helpless, instead of demanding for something in return. There are days when you sort of lose faith in your fellow human beings because they are so horridly self-centred, and then there are days when you sort of lose faith in yourself because where has all this kindness led to? To nothing but deeper cuts to your fragile heart.
Today is one of those days.