Tomorrow, I go back to work in the new year after having had 12 glorious days off in which I did a bit of studying at the start but after that, mainly indulged in literature and leisure. It was a much-needed break spent without knowledge of dates and times. I woke up when my body was ready to function for the day, and slept when my brain powered off. I had Ben and Jerry's for lunch, drank coffee and chai after dinner, walked around the Melbourne CBD until my feet hurt, shared an Oreo sundae with The Other Half that was laced with the most maddening amount of whipped cream imaginable because what the hell I deserved it, and then drowned a strawberry mocktail in place of a margarita for new year's eve, just because.
At the cusp of 2013/14, I had so many thoughts I wanted to pen down. The transition to the new year is invariably a time of reflection and much inspiration. It was probably the reason I had a blog entry at the end of every year since 2007: 2007 was a time of celebration with newfound friends; 2008 was a joyous summer in which my graduation from medical school took place; in 2009 I started becoming pensive and apprehensive about my future; 2010 was tinged with a hint of sadness and a sprinkle of hope; 2011 was that sense of adventure that I wanted; and in 2012 I reflected on the year with an ounce of amazement and a deeper appreciation for kindness.
So where does 2013 fit in?
In all honesty, I think I have been too immersed in work to appreciate what the year has given me. Certainly, the year had unfolded inconceivably in many ways, and there had been a few eye-opening discoveries of the Self and of Others. But the most essential discovery I have made is this: That I need to be kinder to myself. I have learnt to love myself, but maybe that's not enough. Maybe I need to be kind enough to love myself even more. Writing that last sentence doesn't make much sense, yet it also made perfect sense. I love me, yet I don't treat myself kindly. I push myself to the limits, both physically and mentally, thinking I'd be ok since that's how I've always operated. I guess there comes a time when your Self has had enough. So perhaps it's time to treat yourself the way you've always treated others: with grace, and with kindness.