Friday, January 17, 2014

Letter 686: For You

Girl, let it be known that one day, as you drag your heavily-clogged feet from OT4 to the change room, after having had a gruesomely long day where you had to anaesthetise people with abnormally high BMIs who all had difficulties with their airways, and then having had to ignore that rumbling in your stomach to see a semi-urgent ward consult, only to return to theater to be given more jobs because all your bosses are having a meeting and they need you to hold the fort so that the list isn't going to be interrupted, you will look into the mirror and realise you have never seen that person staring back at you-- you know, the one with the crows feet and fine lines around her face, the one whose skin is so dry from being deprived of oral hydration while setting up a liter of fluids for her patient in theater such that flakes of epidermis and salmon pink patches of dry skin are visibly seen on the forehead and on the cheeks, the one whose hair is so long and so thin and so lacklustre and so full of split-ends because she hasn't had time to go to her hairdresser's for a long, long time, and because she doesn't need to, for she has to cover her hair under scrub caps with colorful designs every day at work, so she feels like she doesn't need to spend time or money on superficial decisions like choosing the next shade of brown for the hair, but then maybe she does, because maybe there's a single, unsuspecting strand of grey appearing on her hairline, but perhaps it's the poor lighting in the change room, for isn't that the color of her blonde highlights, now faded to a shade remarkably close to white? You know, there will be a day when you will realise, as you look around your group of friends, in person or in Facebook photos, that they, too, carry that haggard look that can only be seen with the advancement of one's age. That the boy you once thought was cute in school whom you bumped into at the Apple Store is now showing deep lines on his forehead and streaks of grey in his sideburns. That the pretty girl you met through mutual friends is showing signs of wear on her serial Instagram selfies. That some people have gained weight, some have lost it, some are balding, some are popping antihypertensive pills and a statin or two. You will realise that you are not the only one losing the vitality of youth, and that when age catches up, no amount of La Mer creams will give you the glow you once had. No amount of pleasant occurrences will restore that youthful innocence you once harboured, because this is how the world works-- it weaves cynicism and acrimony into your soul, and although you will still try to maintain the belief that good will eventually triumph over all evil, and that light will eventually see the day, there are moments when you doubt even your own beliefs. But let it be said, Girl, that even if youth fades with the passing of time, and the pillars of faith shaken by nefarious individuals or world events, when you look into the mirror as you will do so one day, let it be known that you are still beautiful, inside and out.


10 comments:

kokokai.northshore said...

Dr Jun - stay forever young. Starts from inside-out. I trust that it's a medical fact....drawing from the only two authoritative medical books that I have. The Merriam Webster's Dictionary and another manual by Mehmet Oz....

Jun said...

kokokai: mehmet oz huh. don't believe everything he says.

Bariah said...

darl, you are beautiful inside and outside!
love you always, B

Jun said...

bariah: sayang, you are too kind. love you too babe! :)

taleanski said...

Mehmet Oz! Lol… I just read his semi-biography the other day. Amused by his credentials and what he's doing now.

I love this piece, my dear! For some reason (probably unfounded), I feel like it has a hint of Black voice. Maybe it's the "girl.. let it be known.." lol. Maybe it's just me. XD Regardless. Just wanna say, you ARE beautiful inside and out. Don't ever doubt that! ;) xoxo.

Jun said...

taleanski: wow you actually read his biography? i'll have to give you credit for that :P

what's Black? you're too sweet for words my dear, thank you, and i love you too!

kokokai.northshore said...

Ok. In two minds now. Shall I put in on Gumtree or in the cardboard bin. I trust you all dear drs......

Jun said...

kokokai: i feel that any book- crap or not- should always be kept or passed on to other people. one man's meat is another's poison, after all, so who knows, there will be people who think highly of it. so i say Gumtree it! :D

kokokai.northshore said...

Dr Jun - I want to confess. The book is back on the shelf next to my fire place. Admittedly on the bottom shelf now just like where they place discounted groceries in the supermarket. I'm sure each book knows its own place. Hopefully I know my own place too. No one wins all the time. I'm learning how not to sail into the wind and knows when to tack from port to starboard. As long as it doesn't sink....

Jun said...

kokokai: yes, each book has its own place. i'm sure you'll find yours one day, but don't be afraid to sail into the wind sometimes :)